Don’t Drown from Refusing Help

I have been doing Bible devotionals in my own group for a few years. Now we will take the last four years of devotions, and be releasing them for your own personal use. Devotionals like the one below:

There are moments in life when we face storms so overwhelming that we’re tempted to believe enduring them alone is a sign of strength. The winds howl, the waves rise, and the weight of the storm presses down on our soul. We have faced so much disappointment, we don’t want it anymore and We might cry out for support, wanting others to sit with us in our storm. But is this really what we need? Or is it a form of misplaced self-reliance, where we refuse the lifeline God offers because we desire comfort over true rescue?

Let’s analyze the idea behind Michelle McKenna’s story where the desire is for companionship through a storm, rather than deliverance from it. At first glance, her words sound like a plea for understanding, but there is a deeper fallacy. The notion that we need someone to walk through our personal "hell" with us, to feel our pain and endure it alongside us, sounds comforting. However, this can become a form of emotional isolation where we reject true help and cling to our storm.

The Dangers of Staying in the Storm

In Isaiah 43:2, God promises, “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you." The original Aramaic context for “pass through the waters” (mabar) implies not simply walking through but moving toward deliverance. God’s intent isn’t for us to linger in the storm or ask others to drown with us. He provides help for us to overcome it.

Let’s make a statement, if the people who are hurting you is attempting to save face or send out assistance after being the primary cause of your potential descending pain. It’s okay to “sit” in the context of waiting, as we shouldn’t duplicate cycles and continue to allow ourselves to be hurt over and over again.

The danger of expecting others to sit in the storm with us, without seeking rescue, is twofold:

1. We resist healing and growth.

We may become attached to the storm, refusing the help that leads to freedom. Just as Masonic teachings encourage building character and stability, our soul’s architecture requires us to seek wise counsel and deliverance rather than dwelling in self-pity.

2. We endanger others.

By demanding someone to sit in our storm, we could pull them into our emotional or spiritual chaos, leading both to miss God’s will. In Ecclesiastes 3:1, we learn that there is a *“time for everything”*—including a time to leave the storm, not stay in it indefinitely.

The Narcissism of Isolation

When McKenna suggests, “She didn’t want to be rescued. She didn’t want to be saved,” there’s a subtle narcissism in the refusal of help. It’s the belief that one’s pain is unique, that only the storm matters, and others must conform to our suffering. But this can blind us to the help God sends through others. Proverbs 11:14 teaches, “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors, there is safety.” The refusal to accept guidance and help can result in unnecessary suffering.

In the context of Eastern Star principles, which emphasize love, truth, and fidelity, true love sometimes means offering a lifeline and pulling someone out of their storm, not simply standing by and watching them suffer. Fidelity, or faithfulness, is being faithful to the truth of what is best for someone's growth, even if it means encouraging them to leave the storm behind.

How to Heal: Accepting the Lifeline

Healing requires both humility and wisdom. It’s essential to recognize when God sends help, whether through people, wisdom, or circumstances, and to respond. Healing isn’t about having someone endure suffering alongside us but about allowing others to help guide us out of the darkness.

1. Acknowledge the need for rescue.

In the Bible, we see this clearly in the story of Peter walking on water. In Matthew 14:30, “But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink, cried out, ‘Lord, save me!’” Peter didn’t cling to the storm or expect Jesus to sink with him. He asked for rescue and was saved.

2. Understand the impact on those around you.

Expecting someone to endure your storm without seeking a way out can hurt those who love you. Families and friends, who care deeply, might become drained or pulled into the chaos. By seeking healing and receiving help, you allow relationships to flourish rather than drown in shared suffering.

3. Seek wisdom from others.

Proverbs 12:15 says, “The way of fools seems right to them, but the wise listen to advice.” Accepting help doesn’t mean weakness—it means wisdom. God often speaks through those around us. Wise counsel, prayer, and sometimes even professional help can be lifelines that lead us out of the storm.

Reject the Mindset of Isolation

Isolation often masks itself as self-reliance. But God didn’t create us to walk alone. He places people in our lives to help us, guide us, and even rescue us when necessary. The enemy would love for us to drown in self-imposed isolation, believing no one can truly understand or help us. However, as believers, we are called to community and growth.

In 1 Corinthians 10:13, we’re reminded that, “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” The key here is that God provides a “way out” not someone to simply endure the storm with us, but a path to deliverance.

Conclusion: Choose Deliverance Over Despair

While storms will come, and we will face trials, God’s will is never for us to stay in those storms indefinitely. Nor is it His will for us to drag others into drowning with us. Instead, He offers help, healing, and rescue, often through the people around us. The wisdom of both Masonic and spiritual principles teaches us that true strength lies not in enduring suffering for its own sake but in growing through it and accepting the help we need to move forward.

Encouragement:

Don’t drown because you refuse help. Instead, trust in the lifelines God provides. Surround yourself with people who offer not just comfort but guidance, wisdom, and support to move forward. Let the storm be a catalyst for growth, not a prison of isolation.

Prayer:

Heavenly Father, give us the wisdom to recognize when we are in a storm and the humility to accept the help You send. Let us not drown in isolation, but trust in Your plan for deliverance. Surround us with those who guide us toward healing, and help us to walk in Your greater will, beyond the storms of life. In Your mighty name, Amen.